“She confidently trusts in the Lord to take care of her.”
(Paraphrase of Psalms 112:7)
This was a difficult lesson for me to learn because I thought I had always confidently trusted in the Lord to take care of me. I hadn’t realized all the other things I also put my trust in.
What were my security blankets?
- My country and community.
- My safe neighborhood and home.
- My gun training and concealed carry license.
- My ability to communicate with everyone around me.
- My cell phone and the GPS app on that phone.
- My strong, courageous, and protective husband.
Matt and I were living with our son and two almost adopted daughter in West Africa, so those first 4 security blankets had already been taken away. One stormy night three months into our stay, we weighed our options and prayed about the best course of action. A verse echoed in my head:
It is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man.
Through tears, I gently reminded Matt, “Hun, you need to trust God to protect us more than you trust yourself to protect us.” Then I told myself the same thing, “Holly, it’s time to trust God to protect you more than you trust Matt to protect you.” Three days earlier we learned that Matt had to return to work or lose his job. We couldn’t afford for him to lose his job and it would have thrown a wrench into our ongoing adoptions. Our son and I couldn’t go with him because our adopted daughters would’ve been put back in an orphanage while we waited for papers to process. We decided. Matt had to return home and I had to stay in Africa with the kids.
It was the most difficult thing Matt had ever done.
I thought we’d answer all the scary questions, talk to the important officials, do the medicals, and fill out all the paperwork together. But just like that we had to say goodbye through repeated hugs and flowing tears. It was now all up to me to successfully complete our adoptions and reunite our family in this beautiful country we call home.
During the time Matt was gone there were multiple occasions I had to go to the US Embassy to complete adoption paperwork or have interviews. My cell phone and purse were always left at the guest house because they aren’t allowed at the Embassy. I’d hail a beat-up taxi with no seatbelts or boosters, negotiate a reasonable price, then the kids and I would climb in. Our first stop was usually the ATM to withdraw money to pay the fees for processing the paperwork. Then we’d take one of multiple ways to the embassy. The taxi drivers had us in their car, knew we were alone, from America, without a phone or purse, with no means of defense, and with a wallet full of cash. Talk about vulnerability.
Two months filled with tasks such as that one had passed. The adoption was finalized, passports printed, medicals completed, and Visas stamped. I was on my way back to the guest house after my last meeting at the embassy. Two miles shy of the guest house I asked the driver to drop me off. There I was, walking all by myself down the edge of a bustling street. No cell phone directing me. No husband protecting me. Just me and my wallet shopping for gifts to take home. I held my head high, smiled at familiar faces, and had this huge sense of peace in my heart. That’s when I realized the incredible lesson I had learned:
“God is all I need!”
During those two month in Africa without Matt I felt untouchable, full of confidence in God. I knew I was doing God’s will to complete the adoptions. I knew I was not alone. I knew He would protect me from all the possible outcomes of those vulnerable situations.
I didn’t need my phone. I didn’t need someone else there to protect me. I didn’t even need special training or a weapon. God can and has used those security blankets to protect me in the past, but He showed me that every single one of those security blankets can be removed and He STILL has the power! Amen! God is good.
That feeling has remained in my heart since that day. It was a growth spurt in my faith. Yesterday, after reading a Pinterest-worthy sign painted with Psalm 112:7, I was instantly reminded of that growth spurt. I felt lead to write this post to share with you all the wonderful things God has done in my life. The lesson He taught me. The ways He protected me. And the truth that God is all you need.
I pray this blesses you.
Share this post along with your own story about a similar lesson you learned. Be bold to bless and encourage others in the faith.
-Holly
