Outcome of the Babies’ 2nd Court Date
An Adoption Update by: Holly Michelson
Friday came. It was one of my nephew’s birthdays. Homeschool needed to be taught, wedding photos needed to be edited, the wedding gear needed to be prepped, and I needed to be focused. But I wasn’t. I said to myself on Monday that I would be chill when Friday finally rolled around. Chill meaning: I wouldn’t check the clock all day, stalk my adoption facilitator’s (or his assistant’s) Facebook pages, email my adoption agency, message my facilitator (twice), or worry about the outcome of the babies’ 2nd court date. “We probably won’t hear the outcome the babies’ second court date until Monday.” Is what I said to myself to ease my anxiety and to others to alleviate constant questions.
Saturday, we had a wedding to photograph for a friend. Many of the guests knew our story, and asked how things were going. All day this reminded me of the babies’ court date. I wondered how it went, “Do I have two more children now?” I liken this to braxton hicks contractions, “Am I in labor yet? Will I meet my child soon?” I sent another message to our adoption facilitator. “How did court go?” I asked. Keep it simple, keep it sweet.
Sunday was exhausting. Already surviving on little sleep. Already uneasy about the outcome of the babies 2nd court date. We sat in our usual pew in front of our dear friends and family. My father-in-law, our pastor, asked if we had heard anything about the court hearing. Matt spoke up, “No we haven’t, but it is very likely we have two more children now.” My heart sunk in discouraged disbelief. But I smiled in order to not show my feelings, distract others, draw attention to myself, or openly lose it. I pulled my Adah, Ayana, and Matthew in and cherished having them with me in that moment. We sang hymns, I heard my one-year-old nephew “singing” along with us. Then I imagined our pew with the babies in it.
It is very likely we have two more children now. -Matt
After church we went home to eat and get ready for the Twins Days Festival. My parents, my brother, Matt’s mom, and Matt’s sister joined us at the festival. Let’s be honest, I was checking my phone for a response to my message about every 10 minutes. Finally right before getting to the Festival, it came. I didn’t want to distract Matt from the family time so I held in the news. All to myself. This was our first time at the Twins Days Festival. My parents and Matt’s mom loved watching everyone gauk over the beauty of my twins. My twins were not thrilled with the countless requests for photos. Matthew and Matt dressed as twins was the cutest thing. I enjoyed talking with other twin moms, and I considered buying the pin that said, “I’m a twin mom so I drink twice as much.”
Being at that festival with constant distractions and feeling the need to keep an extra close eye on the kids while being emotional and tired eerily reminded me of the hardest times in Africa. My exhaustion reached a new level. Even though my family and sister-in-law came over to h
ang out after the festival, I shut myself in my room to decompress. I needed a few minutes of no one asking me any questions. Matt came in. I told him the news.
messaged me back right before the Festival. Court did not go through. For whatever reason they have to go back and the date is open again.”
An open date means the judge did not reschedule the court hearing. Which usually means more time between the court dates. My hopes of having my whole family together before the end of the year are quickly fading. I pleaded with Matt to not say anything to our guests. I needed to keep it in for now. He lovingly agreed, and his hopeful disposition encouraged me. Then he brought up a glass of red wine for me.
Today, I messaged back and forth with our facilitator a bit. He shared that there is more information needed from the maternal side of the babies’ family. Surprisingly, this put me at ease a little. Because I know the issue wasn’t due to slacking from the Social Workers. It is new information that the judge is requiring. I am glad to have a specific thing to pray for: That what is needed from the maternal family is quickly and easily given and that the new court date is scheduled within the next two weeks.
Yes, I am sad that the babies are still in their situation and that they are not mine yet. I woke up thinking about how amazing it would be to have the funds to fly to Africa for a few short trips to meet the babies, spend time with them, and help facilitate their adoption. Would that even be a possibility if we could afford it? I don’t even know.
You know what I do know? That God is good. He has a plan, He put these desires in my heart, and He is faithful and just and He will complete this good work that He has started.
To you who think, “they are such good people”. Please know that we are not. The Bible clearly states, “there is none good”. We are no exception. We are simply God’s children trying our best to obey Him because we love Him because He loved us first.
There is none good, no not one